Sasuke and Naruto: Puberty and Penis
by AoshiKanazaru
Summary: Naruto and Sasuke hang out talking about random stuff, but they have one thing in common


**Taming Sasuke**

Sasuke had to use every trick in the book to successfully sneak out of the Uchiha compound without being noticed. Normally, he would never have to go to such lengths, but in the last few weeks before he had left for his latest mission, word had gotten out that the youngest Uchiha of the main family was quite the sightseer…

…in bed.

While having sex at a young age was nothing unusual in a ninja's upbringing – hell, it was even encouraged – being promiscuous, especially if you were from a respected family line, was somewhat frowned upon.

'Somewhat' meaning taboo to the point of dishonor on you, dishonor on your family, and yes, dishonor on your cow as well.

The worst of it was that the accusations weren't completely unfounded, and the second Sasuke had hesitated when his parents approached him, he found himself under house arrest so fast that it made heads spin.

He was still allowed on his daily missions and such, but had to be escorted to and from his home by either his father, older brother, or Kakashi-sensei.

After a week of this, he had enough, and begged the Hokage for a mission that would not only take him out of the village, but take at least a few days to complete. Yondaime, who happened to be a parent as well, frowned at the request, but gave in regardless, going above and beyond by sending Sasuke out on a six month mission upon which he was expected to extract information from a certain man then erase all proof that he was ever there in the first place.

The catch? The man was labeled as something of a pedophile - liking them not only just below the legal age, but male as well.

Sasuke was shocked (as well as somewhat terrified) that the Hokage knew of his secret when not even the rumors dared whisper of such a thing. Nonetheless, it made him the perfect candidate for this mission; his looks being slightly deceiving of his age.

And so he had headed out on his top-secret mission (thankful for the 'top secret' status that would help to ensure he a home to return to when this was all over), confident that six months would be more than enough time for this whole rumor business to blow over so that he could go back to his normal life.

However, upon his return he found that he was sorely mistaken.

While the house arrest ban had been lifted, his entire family (all 134 of them) took it upon themselves to keep such a close eye on him that Sasuke found it to be a waste of energy to do anything other than leave the house for training, and even that was done within the Uchiha compound.

But tonight – tonight was special.

Tonight had been marked on his calendar for the past month, thanks to a certain dobe.

He had been on the verge of extracting all the information needed for his mission. With only one blank spot left to fill, Sasuke had happily reached the point where he could plot ways to kill the man, fake his own death, and be merrily on his way home.

As much as he loathed to admit it, he missed his mother's cooking.

All of his hard work, however, very nearly came crashing down the day one of the Hokage's messenger birds had flown in his window and straight into a room filled with about three trained assassins, five ninjas, two other wanton boys, and eight or so self-titled 'bad guys'. Oh, and let's not forget to mention the big boss himself was there as well.

Luckily, the amount of commotion caused by the bird's appearance allowed for Sasuke to grab and hide the tiny scroll that had been attached to its leg before it managed to fly back out unharmed. But the damage had already been done. Everyone was now aware that there was a spy in their midst.

Being one of the lowly 'boy toys' meant Sasuke was easily expendable, and talk of getting rid of him and the two others who had been present in the room at the time quickly spread.

The boss, on the other hand, had thought it would be quite the waste to let his three favorites go without one last good fuck, and it was through the fear of their imminent death (coupled with a bit of Sharingan-induced persuasion) that Sasuke was able to make two last-minute allies and not only complete his mission, but place the blame on three of the five ninjas.

Borrowing bodies to replace his own in death had never been so satisfying.

It wasn't until he was about halfway back on his long journey home that the young Uchiha thought to open the note that had very nearly cost him his life.

Wondering what could possibly be so important for Yondaime-sama to go to such lengths; Sasuke unrolled the small bit of parchment, only to have his vision swim red.

It was a birthday invitation. And not just any birthday invitation, no, but a birthday invitation to Naruto's coming of age party; sent by Naruto himself to ensure that his best bastard of a friend would hurry and wrap up his mission on time so that he would be able to attend.

Sasuke had promptly leveled a three mile radius of forest when done reading. Only Naruto had the ability to screw up missions he wasn't even there for. And it had to be some sort of crime stealing the Hokage's birds for one's own use.

Yes, Sasuke had waited nearly a month for this; his night of revenge. He had only been back home for little over a week, and due to his reluctance to wander about town and give his parents more basis for their suspicions, he had yet to actually see any of his friends.

The party was being held at one of Konoha's most reputable hot springs resorts located near the foot of the mountains lining the Hokage monuments, with plans to last through the night until the sun rose.

Thoughts of originally strangling the blond had been replaced with dreams of drowning him instead.

Dreams that gladly carried him through Konoha's darker streets, away from crowds that would easily spot him, to the entrance to the hot springs resort.

Due to his unavoidable stealth in traveling, he was more than a few minutes late and had missed everyone meeting up to go inside.

That was just as well, he figured as he let himself in the building's entrance, since it wouldn't do to have a crowd of witnesses watching him attempt to kill the Hokage's son…

Sasuke waited in the lounge as one of the resort's many hired hands dashed off to announce his arrival to the guest of honor, entertaining himself with thoughts of Naruto from before his long mission.

The blond had always been shorter than Sasuke, although just before he left the difference had only been by a few centimeters. The Uchiha had taken it upon himself to poke fun at Naruto's obvious inability to go through puberty at the same time as the rest of the boys, what with his tiny frame, baby fat cheeks that placed him firmly in the 'cute' category when concerning girls' gossip and…and…

Sasuke's thoughts trailed off at the sight of a tall, masculine blond jogging up to him. The immediate notion of it being the Hokage was dismissed as the raven-haired boy noticed the signature orange pants and jacket.

"Hey, teme!"

Sasuke's jaw dropped. "D-dobe?!?"

What the hell? He looked like a smaller version of Yondaime!! What happened to the slender frame? The chubby little cheeks? The shortness!!

Who the hell was this _man_ and what had he done with Naruto??

"Heh, surprised?" Naruto gloated as he moved to stand before his wide-eyed friend, holding a pose that had undoubtedly been practiced in front of a mirror. "I gotta say, the sudden growth spurt was pretty unexpected, but once I got over it, I figured I'd work out a bit more as well, just so I could blow you away when you got back. It really sucks that I don't have a camera right now to get a picture of your face…hey, are you okay? Come on, it's not like I changed _that_ much…" Naruto stated as Sasuke's continued shocked silence began to make him uneasy. "So where's my present?"

This snapped Sasuke out of his stupor. "Present? What present?"

"Eh? Teme! You came to my party without bringing me a gift?!?"

"You ungrateful brat! You should consider me being here a gift in itself! I almost DIED thanks to that stunt you pulled while I was on my mission!"

Naruto scowled, showing little remorse for his actions. "Tch. Like hell I'll accept your presence here as a gift. If it wasn't for me in the first place, you'd probably still be out there, taking your own sweet time in finishing things up and returning home."

For a moment, Sasuke froze. Did Naruto know the details of what his duties consisted of for the mission? The very thought made Sasuke's heart thud painfully in his chest. It was bad enough that Yondaime-sama knew, but for Naruto to know as well…

"Come on, everyone's already gone to change before we eat. You're sharing a room with me, which sucks. You'd think seeing as how it's my birthday they'd give me my own room…"

Sasuke silently followed his teammate, keeping a sharp eye and ear out for any hint of a difference in Naruto's behavior around him that would give away what he may know.

True, the young blond would pester his father to find out where Sasuke had disappeared to for so long, but surely the Hokage wouldn't break his sworn silence just because his son had killer puppy eye abilities, right?

But then again, how would Naruto have known where to send that messenger bird?

The only logical conclusion to be made was that Yondaime-sama caved in and revealed the general location of Sasuke's whereabouts. But how much had he revealed about the mission?

"That's your bed over there," Naruto pointed as he let them both into their suite and bypassed the bedroom's large entryway in favor of heading to the sitting area where a couch and two overstuffed chairs surrounded a low coffee table that held a pair of yukatas for them to change into.

Half the time, it was ridiculously easy to predict what was going through the blond's mind: ramen, beating Sasuke, ramen, learning a cool new jutsu, or ramen. But times like now…Sasuke could easily drive himself nuts pondering of the enigma his friend could be.

Catching the robe that was tossed at him, the Sharingan-user decided it would be best to simply come out and ask the dobe what he knew rather than play this guessing game.

"Naruto, what-?" The words caught in his throat as Sasuke looked over in time to see the orange jacket fall, revealing a black t-shirt that was stretched nearly taut across a toned chest that did ample justice to the broad shoulders Naruto had developed during his friend's absence.

The shirt soon followed, lifted to reveal a stomach devoid of body fat and a light happy trail that lead Sasuke's eyes down instead of up as the shirt was completely discarded.

Almost distantly, Sasuke could hear Naruto respond to his partial question, and he swallowed in an attempt to moisten his suddenly dry throat before trying to talk.

"What the hell, Naruto? I leave for a few months and you decide to hit puberty? Did you start downing soldier pills as vitamin replacements or something?" Not quite the direction Sasuke had intended to take for the conversation planned, but with his vision being filled with tan skin that seemed to gleam over the muscles it was covering, he found little room for other thoughts to occupy his brain.

Naruto scowled, running a hand over his chest in a soothing motion as if it was his wounded pride. "First you make fun of me for not hitting puberty, then you turn around and make fun of me _for_ hitting puberty; you really are a bastard, you know that? I bet you're just jealous that puberty liked me better than it did you!"

Sasuke wasn't about to refute that last point, seeing as how true it was. His own body had finished filling in the year before, but it seemed he had been born with his mother's bone structure and was cursed with a rather slim frame and deceptively delicate features.

Whatever, Sasuke decided as he ripped his eyes away from the sight so that he could begin to remove his own clothes as well. At least fate had been kind enough to the more important parts of his anatomy.

Almost as if he were reading his mind, Naruto chose that moment to speak. "Hey, when was the last time we compared penis sizes?"

Once again, Sasuke froze. Was he serious? "Sometime during our first year as teammates. Why? Did your penis go through puberty, too?"

"What, you're telling me you couldn't tell by my new deep…_sexy_…voice?" the blond practically purred as he dropped an octave, moaning out the last bit of his sentence as he would if he were using his sexy no jutsu.

Casting his friend a sidelong glance, Sasuke shook his head as he unwrapped the bandages from his left arm. "You're newfound confidence makes it pretty obvious."

"You think my confidence is sexy? Really?" Naruto asked, grinning. "Because I could have sworn you were eyeing my rippling pectorals and washboard abs."

Sasuke risked another look at the boy, his gaze immediately falling on the tantalizing happy trail. "Hn."

"But then again, perhaps you're more interested in my cock…?"

For the third time that night, Sasuke froze.

_He knows!_

"What do you say, Sasuke?" Naruto asked, flopping down on the couch with his legs and arms spread in order to put himself on display. "Am I sexy enough to meet your requirements, or do I really need to whip junior out to gain approval?"

The Uchiha's panic reached an all time high and he was nearly positive he would die of heart palpitations there on the spot. He had been too hasty. Rather than escaping his problems he should have stayed and attempted damage control. Of course the rumors would fly out of hand the second he left! Of all the people he cared about knowing, Naruto was…Naruto was…

Naruto was grinning at him.

Naruto was grinning at him in a manner that gave him a way out if he so chose.

And just like that all was right with the world and Sasuke could suddenly breathe again.

Ha! Who the hell did that dobe think he was, making things easy for him? He was Sasuke _freaking_ Uchiha! He didn't _need_ an out!

"Please," he scoffed, tossing the bandages aside. "As if I need to traumatize myself by seeing your tiny weenie a second time in my life."

"What was that?!? You bastard!! I'll have you know my weenie is HUGE when it's hard!" Naruto yelled, jumping up to defend the very essence of his manhood. "It's like a COLOSSAL weenie!! Er – colossal COCK!! In fact, it'd probably rip someone in TWO it's so big!"

"Is that so?" Sasuke couldn't help but raise a brow. "Is it hard now?"

This question seemed to throw Naruto off a bit. "Eh, no…?" he said, looking down at his crotch for confirmation.

"Then you really can't back up that claim, can you, dobe?"

Blue eyes blinked in shock before recovering. "Oh yeah?!? Well…maybe if _you_ stopped acting like a dick and tried being more sexy like me, it'd have something to react to."

It was now Sasuke's turn to blink. "You want _me_ to _try_ to be sexy?" He approached the standing blond, invading his personal space to the point where Naruto was forced to sit back down.

Scowling, he stood over his friend and placed his hand against the bottom hem of his shirt, slowly pulling it up with his hand flush against his torso, watching with satisfaction as Naruto's Adam's apple bobbed. When the shirt could go no further, Sasuke used both his hands to pull it off and toss it aside, suppressing a slight shiver now that his skin was exposed, and placed one knee on the couch beside Naruto, using it to brace himself up as white clad hips jutted forward just enough to skim down the blonde's chest as Sasuke slid down into the orange lap.

"S-sasuke?"

Sasuke could hear as well as feel the shaky breath Naruto let out as he leaned forward, their mouths mere centimeters apart.

"W-what…?"

'What?' indeed, Sasuke thought as kept his body hovering just above the blond, concentrating on the body heat they were both giving off and how it seemed to intermingle between them.

He had no idea what he was doing; what was driving him to act like this.

A low chuckle escaped his lips as he looked directly into wide cerulean eyes from behind black bangs. "I'm _trying_ to be sexy. What does it look like?" He allowed his knees to slide out a bit more until their clothes were just barely making contact. "What do you think, _Naruto_?" he moaned, his lips brushing the blond's chin as he spoke. "Is this sexy enough for you…" A pale hand traveled down a tan chest and stomach, "or do I need to try harder?"

Sasuke's hand came to rest in Naruto's lap, waiting a split second for a response that would never come before pressing down just enough to feel the answering call of a very eager cock, twitching and jumping madly, growing at an alarming rate.

Sasuke would have loved to massage the appendage to full hardness, to grind his hand and hips down into the one thing that had remained on his mind ever since that day they had compared sizes until Naruto's own hips writhed in response, but one look at his teammate's face forced him to second guess himself.

Naruto's mouth seemed to be torn between opening to say something and shutting up to enjoy the ride, giving him the appearance of a fish - his comically wide blue eyes only adding to the look. His entire body was rigid; muscles locked as he gripped the cushions of the couch...things were obviously spiraling out of control for him.

Pride wounded and feeling slightly hurt and embarrassed, Sasuke pulled back and moved away from the couch, giving them both a bit of distance. "You shouldn't mess with things you don't fully understand, idiot."

Ouch. That came out sounding a lot harsher than he intended.

Turning to face the wall as he undid his shorts, the Uchiha made a feeble attempt to lighten the mood. "I'm obviously still far sexier than you'…ll…ever…"

Sasuke had turned, his eyes in search of his robe, only to land on cock instead.

And not just any cock, but Uzumaki cock.

In the few seconds his teammate had been turned away from him, Naruto had pulled his shaft out from the confines of his pants so that it now stood tall and fully erect, basking in its own glory.

Sasuke couldn't pull his eyes away.

Naruto hadn't been exaggerating when he described it as 'colossal.' The head stood high above his belly button, and the girth was wide enough to make Sasuke's own penis harden in response to the wild thoughts now running rampant in his head.

Wordlessly, Sasuke walked over to once again stand over the blond and reached into the pouch still attached to his shorts, pulling out a small tube of lube before letting the pants fall to the floor, his underwear quickly following.

Looking up with all traces of teasing devoid from his features, Naruto spoke, "I wouldn't mess around with something like this, Sasuke."

For some reason, those words seemed to play on Sasuke's insecurities. What insecurities, he didn't know, but he was unable to stop his hand from trembling as he reached out, his fingers brushing against the velvety tip of Naruto's cock.

The blond drew in a shaky breath. "But, you know, I don't want you to feel pressured or cornered or anything, so if you just say the word, I'll grab my robe and never speak of this agai-"

"Shut up," Sasuke ordered as he straddled Naruto's lap, sitting on his friend's knees as he uncapped the lube and squeezed out a generous amount directly onto the gigantic penis before him.

"Okay," Naruto squeaked, gasping at the cold liquid now dribbling down his cock before Sasuke's hand began to spread it out, making sure he was well covered.

Wasting only enough time to coat his fingers and make sure his insides were moistened as well, Sasuke positioned himself, hesitated just long enough for his shaft to twitch at the feel of the soon-to-be intrusion rubbing against his entrance, and pushed down.

_Ow ow ow ow ow ow._

Alright, so he could have spent a little more time stretching himself, considering how well he knew his body's limits, but Naruto's cock was _there_, twitching each time his fingers had disappeared in his hole, and despite Naruto's steadfast silence, as soon as he had seen that pearly drop of precum swell up on the tip of the head, Sasuke hadn't been able to hold himself back any longer.

He wanted his Naruto, and he wanted him now.

"Ne, S-sasuke? Are you sure this is-?"

_Ow ow ow ow ow ow._

"Shut _up_, dobe." He was done holding back day after day, batting aside any traces of feelings that he vehemently denied of existing in the first place.

_Ow ow ow ow ow ow._

You'd think after six months of doing nothing but having sex all day, you'd feel less pain taking a man like this.

"But, Sasuke, you're crying."

_Ow ow ow ow ow ow._

"These are tears of joy, idiot," Sasuke managed, gritting his teeth and fully seating himself. "Because I'm just so happy that your declaration on being able to split someone in two is true."

Naruto merely blinked, obviously missing the sarcasm. Instead, a soft smile graced his features as he inclined his head, peppering Sasuke's face with soft kisses and small licks, clearing away the trail of tears and catching any new ones as they fell.

"Teme," Naruto said softly, "if you treat me like one of your conquests, of course it's going to hurt."

"Usuratonkachi. You're not one of my conquests." Sasuke's eyes squeezed shut.

_Ow ow ow ow ow ow._

"And if you think otherwise, you better be ready to leave the country when we're done because I swear I'll hunt you down and manually rip off 'junior' in the most painful of ways and then make sure you relive that moment for the rest of your life."

The silence that met that statement began to worry the young jounin, causing him to peek his eyes open. The wide, shocked blue eyes that met his surprised him greatly.

"Really? Do you really mean that, Sasuke?" Naruto asked almost desperately.

Thoroughly confused as to why the maiming of one's dick would become a topic Naruto of all people would want to focus on, Sasuke answered almost hesitantly, "…Yes."

The tan face before him transformed as one of the largest, happiest, and most stupidest of grins the Uchiha ever had the fortune of seeing overtook Naruto's features.

"That's great! Cause, you know, I never wanted to be one of your conquests either, but with the way you've always been, I wasn't sure if I could be anything more, but then I figured after your mission, maybe you would be sick of stuff like that and be ready to settle down, but I wasn't sure how I'd go about asking you out because you're not a girl, so the usual methods I used to use with Sakura obviously wouldn't work with you, _especially,_ since they never worked with Sakura in the first place and-"

With his lips firmly planted on the rambling man's below him, Sasuke didn't dare let up until Naruto responded to the kiss, letting his friend know that he now had his full attention. Tongues were quick to meet and dance about, caressing one another in the most sensual of ways that had Sasuke drawing in a shaky breath through his nose.

Naruto's hands finally stopped clutching the damn couch and came up to caress Sasuke's skin - traveling from his hips, up his sides, to his chest, fingers splaying out to brush against pink nipples on their roving path before moving around to his back, massaging their way down to his ass.

The touch left a tingling feel in its wake, one that caused the pain to disappear as the Uchiha arched his back, his hips now itching to move. Not exactly one to deny his urges, Sasuke slowly pulled his body up and allowed gravity to take over as he slid back down and _holy shit_.

Sasuke did it again.

The third time, he pulled out until just the head remained before lowering himself, groaning at the mind-blowing sensation of being filled with such a large cock.

As he continued his movements, he didn't even notice the bruising grip on his thighs until one hand shifted to the joint between his hip and leg, pinching him rather uncomfortably. Eyes narrowing in annoyance, Sasuke stopped save for his hips which continued to shift about in tantalizing circles.

Leaning in for a quick nibble of Naruto's bottom lip, Sasuke smirked, "Is there a problem, Naruto?" he asked sounding much more breathless than he would have liked.

"N-no," Naruto squeaked, making a half-assed attempt at clearing his throat. "We're good. Feel free to continue as you were."

The smirk widened as Sasuke clenched his ass muscles, unable to stop the sudden moan as the blond's hips thrust up in reflex.

"_Fuck_, Sasuke!" Naruto cursed, his hips now moving back and forth in a fluid motion as if they were out of his control. "You're so goddamn tight! If you keep teasing me like that I might not be able to hold back and hurt you or something!"

This caught Sasuke's full attention and his pupils dilated as the words transformed into a promise in his mind. "Do it," he ordered. "Take me as hard as you can." His gyrating movements came to a complete stop. "Make me scream, Naruto."

The raven-haired boy could have sworn he saw blue eyes flash red at the challenge, but he wasn't given much of a chance to dwell on it as he flew away from the couch, his back crashing through the hard surface of the coffee table before landing painfully on the floor below. Not given much of a chance to ponder the broken remains of the table now surrounding him either, Sasuke gasped as the sharp slap of skin against skin filled the room, Naruto once again inside him and moving at a much more brutal pace than before.

Crying out as each thrust pushed his body uncomfortably up the carpeted floor, Sasuke's hands mindlessly scrambled for purchase against something that would help him keep in place and close to the tanned Adonis violating him as if he were the only one who could bring him pleasure in this world. At last his hands found the legs of one of the overstuffed chairs that had been on the other side of the table and he gripped it, pushing himself back down and into Naruto's thrusts.

Belatedly, Naruto seemed to notice Sasuke's dilemma, and slipped his hands underneath reddened shoulder blades, up to grab pale shoulders and pull him closer, attacking his throat with licks and bites as he did so.

It felt as if flames of chakra were licking at his skin, the occasional, accidental grazes of parts of Naruto brushing against him – the slick feel of chest against chest, the pressure of lips melting into teeth, the slap of balls against ass – it chased away the burning feeling for an instant, only to send it inside of him, driving him wild.

Hands flying down to grip blond locks, Sasuke forced Naruto's face up to his own, demanding a kiss that quickly transformed into a mouth fuck as tongues darted furiously against one another in a way that caused pale legs and hips to quiver and shake uncontrollably.

Neither male could keep this up for very long thanks to their strong need for oxygen and the kiss ended prematurely, leaving Sasuke to bite his tongue to stop him from diving right back in as he forced his head back, leaving Naruto free to attack his neck and chest a second time as he struggled to gulp in much-needed air between the moans that were forced out of him each time the blond's penis hit his prostate dead-on, causing his shaft to pulsate and his already weakened knees to lose their strength just a little more.

Hissing as the dobe bit the sensitive spot on his neck, Sasuke's entire body began to throb out of sync with their movements. Mentally cursing his heart's inability to beat in time with the activity, Sasuke did his best to encourage Naruto to speed up the pace to match the pounding in his veins. His very being was pounding in three different ways, and Sasuke, who usually had enough stamina for about four to six rounds, barely felt as if he could make it through this one.

Was it normal to lose such control over your body during sex? Sasuke asked himself as his back arched momentarily; the action causing him to feel as if he could no longer breathe. Was it normal to feel this many sensations all over one's body instead of just down below?

The world seemed to slow as the Uchiha made no struggle to regain his breath, his eyes seeing everything but taking nothing in. The room was filled with sound, but all he seemed to be able to hear was the harsh breathing of his teammate over him, small moans and growls pushing past his throat every now and then. The musky scent to sweat, sex, and _Naruto_ overwhelmed him, letting him know that despite being unable to fill his lungs, he was still alive and breathing.

"_Hah_, Sas-Sauke-I, _hah_, I-"

Whatever was attempting to be said was cut off as Naruto's suddenly frantic movements seemed to still and become aware to Sasuke's senses in this pseudo-high, where nothing but what his soul perceived existed.

It was the sharp sensation of teeth against his nipple that broke through this world and the harsh tug that followed that brought him crashing back down as he came with Naruto, milky white strands forcing their way out of him at such a pace that both men were sure it would never end.

Sasuke screamed.

And just like that, it was over, leaving both jounin boneless and heaving for breath.

For the longest time, they remained like that, neither bothering to move as they slowly recovered. It wasn't until he felt lips press against the side of his chin that Sasuke stirred, letting the other know, that yes, he was still alive.

No matter how good the sex was, he wasn't about to give Naruto the brief pleasure of believing he had died via mind-blowing orgasm.

Satisfied with the slight movement, Naruto managed to shift a bit so that he could pull his now-flaccid penis out and brace himself up on shaky elbows.

"You broke the table, dumb ass," Sasuke scolded, causing the blond to chuckle.

"What excuse should I give the staff? That we were taking our friendship to new heights, or it was a casualty of me beating the shit out of you?"

A brow rose. "_You_ beating the shit out of _me_? Why not the other way around?"

"Be grateful you're getting a choice at all, teme," Naruto scowled.

Sasuke blinked as he slowly realized what exactly his choices entailed: To come out and let the world know that he had settled down with the Yondaime's son, or to keep their fledgling relationship under wraps. Both options had their advantages and rather heavy disadvantages.

"Moron," Sasuke berated as if the answer was obvious. "We don't tell them anything. It's none of their business how the table broke. Let them assume whatever they want."

"But what if they ask?"

"Then we tell them we got carried away and we're very sorry and we'll pay for the damages. Now get off me, usuratonkachi, you're heavy."

Naruto scowled at the poke at his weight, and rather than getting up as requested, he flopped back down, reveling in the 'oof!' that sounded as a result.

"Bastard," Sasuke gasped out, his lungs trying to get used to the sudden pressure. "I'm going to kick your ass."

"Okay."

Neither of them moved.

"Hey, Sasuke?"

"Shut up, dobe. I'll kick your ass eventually."

"…That's not what I was going to ask."

Oh. "Then what?" Sasuke tried to sit up, but a light knock on the door caused them both to freeze.

A split second later they were both scrambling up, grabbing and discarding random items in a search for something to clean themselves up and hide any of the more obvious evidence of their activities.

Another knock sounded. "Naruto? Sasuke? Are you in there?"

Naruto tripped over his pants as they fell to his ankles in his dash to his duffle bag as he heard Sakura's voice. "Yea?-omph!"

"…Naruto? Are you okay? What the hell are you doing in there?"

"I'm…er….changing!" Naruto called out, kicking off his pants while trying to reach for his robe. "So if you value you virgin eyes, don't come in!"

"If I value my _what_?!? You pervert! Is Sasuke in there with you? The hostess told us he had arrived, but you guys are taking forever and everyone's hungry…" Sakura trailed off as the door swung open, revealing Sasuke dressed in all his yukata-wearing glory. Naruto was quick to join the sight, still tying the ends of his own robe together as he yelled at his friend.

"What the hell, teme! I said _don't_ open the door! You want the whole world to see me naked that badly?"

Ignoring the blond, Sasuke headed out the door. "I apologize, Sakura, We were running a little late because I was giving Naruto his birthday present."

"Oh? What did you get him?" Sakura asked curiously.

A wistful smile crossed Sasuke's face. "Something that holds a lot of sentimental value."

The two were halfway down the hall before Naruto's enraged voice chased them down. "TEME!! I TOLD YOU I AM _NOT_ COUNTING YOU BEING HERE AS MY BIRTHDAY PRESENT!!"

Sasuke sighed, deciding now was a good time as any to get used to Naruto's dense misunderstandings thanks to his thick head. After all, he would probably have to deal with it a lot more in the future…


End file.
